This afternoon just before suppertime will be an astronomical event that I dread every year....the Autumnal Equinox. Why, you ask? I will answer in just one word. Light. That's it -- Light. I crave light. Daylight, sunlight, bright light that is not fluorescent or otherwise artificial, REAL LIGHT. And starting today there will be less of it in a 24 hour period and more of darkness. Darkness is confining, depressing, discouraging, and just plain old not fun or exciting.
After having worked far too many 12-hour shifts in windowless NICUs where it was dark when I drove to work in the morning and dark when I left in the evening, never having seen the light of day all day, I have this pathological thing about light. I have to have a window seat at restaurants, I wear light and brightly colored clothes. I don't wear black. My bedroom walls are a cheery shade of pink. I have at least 7 lamps in my room, just so it is light enough where I need it (studio table, desk, by the bed, etc.). I'll do most anything reasonable to fight off seasonal depression triggered by insufficient light.
Fall is always difficult for me. My fibromyalgia flares fiercely every year in October. This year the flare came a month early and I have been completely miserable. Mind you, I have spent one afternoon per week with my wonderful dentist, "Dr. Michael". I think I have paid for the private school tuition for one of his sons this fall with all the work I have had done. But I am now officially worthy of being called a QUEEN....and I have the gold crown to prove it. Ouch! I have coped as best I can by doing what usually helps the most...meds and knitting. But somehow my right shoulder got hurt last week...it may have been the serious cleaning and dejunking I was doing. Whatever, the pain has been so bad that I haven't been able to do much of anything, most notably knitting. ARRRRGH! This has made me one grumpy gal...my poor family is still putting up with me though.
In my restricted state I found I could not knit on my complicated, twisting, CookieA Clandestine socks, but I could knit "plain vanilla" socks. And so this morning I finished another pair of socks for Daddy. I dubbed this pair "Ugly Man Socks" because that's what I call all of his socks. After all, I use pretty, colorful yarns and interesting lace patterns for my socks; for his I use plain stitches and dark, rather boring colors. The irony in all this is that this pair of socks is really quite attractive. I love the yarn. If I hadn't knit daddy's socks from it I would knit socks for myself from it. Awesome yarn. Sigh. I never was any good at cynicism, sarcasm, or any other of those acerbic things. I should know better than to label something "ugly" before seeing the end result. Double sigh.
Better luck next time...with the next pair...or two...of socks. Knitting on!
1 comment:
i know what you mean about 12.5 hour shifts in icu - doing it myself now but since we built a new clinic it hasnt been so bad - there are two rooms in our unit that have absolutely beautiful views! we call them the vip rooms.
anyhow, sorry it's a bad time of year for you
i love to go out in the pretty sunshine and inhale the wonderful smell of leaves and if i'm lucky some on e will have a firs somewhere
run out and breath in . take your knitting outside after lunch if you can. too cold? wrap up in one of those beautiful lace shawls you've made!
hugs and hope you get to feeling better!
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